Mike's book list

Just got an email from Mike.
He's just got out of the hospital with a bit of a stomach bug.


Just so everyone/anyone knows...

these are the books to tag:

Survivor

Rant

Invisible Monsters

Choke

The Etched City

Veniss Underground

American Gods

Assassination Vacation

The Road

The Tyrant

The Divinity Student

Land of Laughs

Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell

The Picture of Dorian Gray

Catcher in the Rye

Ethan Frome

Fevre Dream

Quarantine

1984

I Am Legend

Red and I are heading to Toronto this weekend. I'm going to hit every bookstore I can find with my stickers.

Had my interview today

So yah... Had my interview for the senior position at work today. I was a little nervous. ... But when my name was called... I just repeated in my head... "You are awesome". over and over again in my head... so by the time I walked into the room...
I WAS awesome. I did great. A room of six people who usually intimidate the shit out of me... They asked me 2 questions each. I Charmed the hell out of them... Got a lot of those "I'm impressed " nods at my answers and had them all laughing more than a few times. I did great. I did fucking awesome.

If I don't get the job... It wasnt because of my interview.

I WILL get this job.
I am telling myself this in my head... tell it in your head to.

This is my new theme song for the day:

My new friend

His name is Michael Philips.

He was featured on This American Life in the Episode called ESCAPE . Mike has something called Spinal Muscular Atrophy... A condition that nobody has lived past childhood... until recently..thanks to the miracles of modern science. Mike is in his mid 20's. He can't move his body, besides maybe 2 fingers and his face. Just recently a complication made it that he can't speak anymore now because he has a tube in his throat.
Mike is so close to death everyday of his life it is frightening. Mike communicates through a computer, or through facial movements/gestures.
But what s most important. Mike has taken control of his own life. He has great taste in music.. He dress's in all black, dyes his hair. Has an assistant who paints his nails black. Mike collects tattoos with meaning, goes to tattoo conventions.. is really well read and has great taste in films. Thats a recipe for a friend to me.
Soon as I saw that episode.... I said
"holy shit. This is the coolest guy I've ever seen in my life."
I HAD to find him. It just blew my mind. The show mentioned he had a blog... so I started there. I scoured the intertoobs till I found him. http://www.lithiumcreations.com/
Then I emailed him. Introduced myself.. told him our story and sent him a link to our flickr page...I said hope you get a laugh outta them. He wrote back.. You guys are awesome.
Cool.. I wasn't sure if he was a star wars fan... but I guess you don't have to be to get a kick outta our photos. I mean.. To be honest. I really don't even like the films all that much either.
Yah that's right I said that.
anyways
Then I began to read and post on his blog. He's so well spoken.. so articulate... I envy him in that way. It's sometimes really sad.. sometimes really funny.. Its his sence of humor that really got me from the start. But he's also really well read. and by well read.. I mean he loves Chuck Palahniuk too. So when he writes about a book. I want to read it too. Then I came up with an idea.
I worte to him. I said you should start an anti oprah book club. I could make stickers and put them on all the books you recomend. Think of what you want them to say.
He wrote back:
What do you think about, "If you don't read this, kill yourself"

Fucking LAUGH! ... is this guy awesome or what? You see what I mean about his sence of humor?
So that's what I'm doing right now. making these stickers. Then I'm gonna go into every bookstore I find..The bigger the better... and slapping them on every book Mike recommends. I'm gonna take photos of me doing it... with the helmet. and then send them to him.
Its gonna be our first Project Mayhem assignment. If this goes well... then Hopefully we'll keep coming up with more little projects. I want to be an extension of him.. to go out in the world and fuck with it on his behalf.. Have some fun and make each other laugh...

I have another plan... that I havent told him about. Is when we go to the Fan Expo next weekend. I'm gonna get as many geeks in costumes as possible to say Hi Mike! on video.. put it all together, put it up on youtube and send it to him. My ultimate goal is to get some of the celebraties at the show to say it too. I'm not sure if I can get them to do it... but I'm gonna do my best to make it happen.

Letter from God

Something good

After all the madness lately... This is my new theme song.

Best Science Fair Ever

Cool or what?

I say Cool.

An ex pat Brit named Jim who now lives in Florida... made a few changes to our photo and did a steller job painting me. I'm quite flattered.
He sent over an email explaining how his mate had sent him one of our photos he found on the internets.. It inspired him to make the painting. Then as he was researching to do more as a series.. he came across our flickr page and promptly emailed us. We've had a great talk, I took the piss outta him for a bit, and we both had a good laugh on the emails. He's got a good sence of humour...He passed the test. So we're gonna work together on some peices.
He's gonna send us a few prints of the painting as well.
How's that for funny eh?
If anyone is wondering why we're not pissed for him taking our work... Our photos are well out of our control now. They are so far spred across the internets we can't control what happens to them or who see's them and what they do with them. So Cheers to Jim for going the extra mile and saying "hello...see what I did? Lets do more, but this time together"


Jims website is here: http://www.strangelydrawn.com/blog/

He has some great idea's... so we're gonna have some fun with it together... see if we both can make a bit of dosh... Help Red and I get to Manchester and visit the Corrie set.

The worst day ever

Ok...
So I came home from work the other day.
Like everyday I am greeted by Dude at the door.
I pick him up and he kisses my face.
I kiss him back and carry him up the stairs
hugging and kissing him.
As I get to the top of the stairs...
Red yells out from down the hall.

" Don't let Dude kiss you!"

I say "what?"

Red yells
"He was eating poo in the back yard!"

Then I realize...
Dudes breathe smells.... funny.
I drop him like a brick and run to the bathroom... and start rincing out my mouth and face with mouth wash. Just pouring the bottle all over my face and scrubbing with a cloth.
Screaming at Red...
"Why didn't you meet me at the door and tell me that?!??!?! "

She said she was sorry.

Then I began to gag a bit.
I said
"I'm sorry I yelled at you"
and kissed her.

She backed away.
and said I smelled like poo.

I began to dry heave...

Then Dude threw up on the carpet....
and it smelled like rotten poo.

I walked away gagging and dry heaving.
Red tried to clean it...
but she started dry heaving.

That made me puke in the kitchen sink.

Then all of a sudden..
the whole house seemed to smell like sweet rotten poo puke.
I couldn't stop dry heaving.
and I puked on the carpet too.

Red started laughing...
I kept puking...
I put my hand over my mouth
but it was squirting out between my fingers getting all over my shirt and the walls as I ran to the bathroom and puked in the sink.


She threw the dude poo puke paper towels in the garbage...
and asked me to take them out into the garage.

I puked again when she said that ..

Screaming at her I said..

"Are you insane?"

She said "
"Please Baby.. I can't do it...
I cleaned it up.. You have to take it out side!"

I said...
"Ok baby.. I'm sorry.."
between dry heaves.
I got as far as the door...
and I puked all over the door and the door knob.
I looked up at her and said...
"I'm sorry"

She laughed..

I puked again on the porch.
I Puked on the stairs
I puked on the drive way.

I tossed the bag into the garage.
then went back in the house...
dry heaving till I got into the bedroom.
the only room that didn't smell like puke.
and dude was waiting for me on the bed.

I smiled and said..

"I fucking hate you..."
rubbed his neck and kissed him on the head.

Something I can never have (still)

Everywhere I look you're all I see.
Just a fading fucking reminder of who I used to be.

Hey Pig

A good song..

Lay across my big brass bed.

Only ministry
could take a fucking retarded song
and make it this awesome.

This goes on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on

I'm not naming names...
But
some peoples lives
and
the stupid decisions they make...
seem to go on
and on
and on
and on
and on
and on....

The chorus of this song reminds me of you a lot.
So this one goes out to you....
I hope you choke on your stupid life
you unnamed idiot.

Godfather the Musical

This post is dedicated to Micheal. Hope you're feeling better.

"The Godfather Musical pt.1: Ode to Fredo"

"The Godfather Musical pt.2: I'm Moe Greene!"

Hope they gave you a good laugh. :)