Sunday, December 02, 2007

Bonnie Died.

Bob....our neighbor, His wife died the other day...., Our other neighbor came by and made the rounds around our court to let us know what happened while we were at work...
I came home from work later than usual, and saw Bob in the drive way. He looked so confused. Which is weird for Bob. He's an ex cop. This guy has an air of purpose around him 24/7.
So I came up to him and said
I'm so sorry to hear about Bonnie, Bob. He's this big..huge ex-cop guy....and he just started telling me the whole story how she collapsed in the house...and how she just died in front of him. And as he's talking, and his voice breaks..and I can see the tears well up in his eyes... he starts to cry...
So I reach out to this huge ex-cop guy and hug him...and he hugs me back. It was like he was Bob from Fight club. We held each other and he cried in the driveway. Then he let go and we talked some more about how he's seen so many people die in front of him in his life through his work, and how none of it prepared it for this...then he started to cry again...So I reached out to hug him..and he hugged back again....but this time he held onto me longer. I hugged him as hard as I could ...but he was a reallly big guy, he was just holding me so tight and crying. It was so weird. To hold this stranger in my arms...and have him cry from somewhere so deeply in front of me. At his most vulnerable...with me..the guy who cuts his lawn once a month. (Bob cuts his every saturday at 8am)

We went to her funeral...It was an amazing service. One where everyone was laughing one minute and crying the next. Red cried her eyes out....


I can't imagine what he's going through... To have your wife just die. No reason.
I think I would just start screaming and not stop. I would stand out on my driveway and scream everyday till I died from screaming ......I wouldnt blame him if he did.


..........All I could think of was when I worked in that hospital..and how I saw people die in front of me everyday too, and how I did body viewings for families...( to see if they could identify the body) but I didnt want to say anything to him, just let him talk.... I felt weird not saying anything to him.....but I think it was the best thing to do.

Its funny, when someone dies. You immediately think of how their significant other is going to be fed. I guess its primal. But then you begin to realize what you have to offer. You see that for most occasions, you only know how to make happy food. Like a Pie, or a cake...You only usually bring over an appetizer. not a meal.
Then we realize we dont eat meals, We're a young couple....We dont cook a roast and have potatoes and /corn/peas/.. We dont have children. We only eat app's. We cant bring over a plate full of natcho's with lots of cheese and lots of salsa. Or can we?

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